Someone else has other plans

I don't think I'm going to make it to the gym this morning. And this time it's not my fault.

I'm normally up at 5 to go to the gym so I have time to come home and shower, eat breakfast, and change before work at 8. (I don't shower at the gym out of principle. 5 am is too early to see old racquetball-playing guys naked. Come to think of it, there's never a good time to see old racquetball-playing guys naked.)

This schedule can vary depending on 2 major factors: what time I actually get up, and the sleep patterns of three people much shorter than myself.

Since 5:30, my 2-year-old has been out of her room 7 times. It is now 6:08. I was all ready to go, then I guess she heard the floor creaking or my keys jangling, because out of her room she came. And she doesn't come out of her room quietly. She wrestles with the doorknob just at the edge of her reach, turns it, opens the door, then snaps the knob loose. I'm a little surprised we're the only 2 awake.

I leaned several years ago that if I don't make it to the gym before the kids are up, the idea is pretty much shot for the day. And this was going to be a good day. Not because of what I had planned to do,  but I have the energy to do a lot. Run 10 miles? Can do. Throw around more weight than Conan the Barbarian? I'm there. Heck, I may even show that rowing machine who's boss.

I had my plans. Those plans don't matter too much to her right now.

There's a great line in church culture: Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans. It's the listening to God's plans that is the hard part. Like this stubborn little girl, we keep waiting for God to stop interrupting so we can get on with whatever it was. But the interrupting takes us where He wants us to be, usually waaaaaay outside a self-constructed comfort zone.

It's difficult to see God's big picture. It's difficult to see a 2-year-old's big picture. I'm pretty sure it revolves around Dora the Explorer.

Things all Guys Should Know

There are certain skills that all guys should know for various reasons. These are skills that, should technology or the normal way of doing things fail at some point in time, you can rely on these skills. I don't have all of them, but I'm working on it slowly. Here's a brief list--oddly, in alphabetical order:


Building. Legos, picnic table, whatever needs to be built around the house, with or without instructions. And if need be, step in and help a professional build a house.

Cooking. More than Mac & Cheese or a microwave burrito. Actually make a meal from scratch. This is useful for two functions: feeding yourself and impressing girls.

Fishing. My grandpa used to take me fishing as a kid quite a bit. I have no memory of ever catching anything. Fishing is one of the few hobbies you can talk about in public and have everyone listen. Because fishermen tell the best stories.

History. Know when wars happened. Know who was president (or king) during those wars. Know who made significant contributions to science and technology. This isn't just about not embarrassing yourself on Jeopardy!, it's about being smarter than the normal goofball on the street.

Listening. Seriously. Listen to others' ideas. And shut up when you do it. Handy for impressing girls.

Math. Balance your own stinking checkbook.

Music. Play at least one instrument that isn't the drums. And learn how to play it quietly as well as forcefully.

Vocabulary. Know the difference between affect and effect. Know several different words for "said." Be able to figure out a word's meanings based on its parts.

Writing. Not just a journal, a blog, or various text messages in the newest forms of abbreviations. This is how future employers will first encounter you. This is how you will explain yourself in a police report. There's a lot at stake in putting words on paper. Or on a screen. You don't want stupid fifth-grade errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar making you look like a rube. On the other hand, know when to break the rules.


What else would you add?
Growing/shooting/cleaning your own food?
Sports?
Business?

It's. About. Time.

I think I could watch anything with Christopher Plummer. Best known for The Sound of Music, the geek in me will always think of Shakespeare-quoting Klingon General Chang from Star Trek VI, eyepatch bolted on to his head and the only guy awesome enough to move while inside a transporter beam.



So it's about stinking time that the guy got what he deserved all these years. Here's a classic moment from The Sound of Music:

And just because I can,

Jeremiah was a Bullfrog

Sorry, this isn't about the Three Dog Night song. And I really don't think Jeremiah was really a bullfrog, no matter how good a friend he was. But he did have some good wine.

Apparently, the original lyric was "Jeremiah was a prophet." But apparently that made too much sense for hippies.

There's a common, recurring theme running through the book of Jeremiah that intrigues me. He really looks like his day's version of the crazy guy on the street corner. God keeps telling him to go somewhere specific and give a specific message to the specific people there. In chapter 26, God sends him to speak in the couryard of the Lord's house and speak to everyone who has come to worship. God gives a message and says to Jeremiah in verse 2:

"Tell them everything I command you; do not omit a word."

The word God gives to Jeremiah is basically a curse. In the church.

And Jeremiah gives that word, without omiting any of it. The people of Israel, being the people of Israel, react much the same way the people of Israel react throughout the Bible when given contradictory news: they want to kill the messenger. But then there's someone reasonable to talk them out of it, but this isn't the only time Jeremiah gets in trouble with the establishement. In fact, that's what he seems to do best.

Jump back to Jeremiah's first call in chapter 1: J-man responds with the normal "But I don't know what I'm doing" excuse that Moses and some of the Judges gave. God responds,

"You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them for I am with you and will rescue you."

My first reaction is, "Wait, rescue from what, exactly?" But more importantly is that God protects those who give His word fully and undilluted--even if it contains things people don't like.

Be the Bullfrog.

Video Monday: Dope Zebra

Been taking some time off to get creative juices going. In a bit of a writing funk, actually. But that happens to everyone.

It's Guy Time this morning with Jack, and we just got done laughing ourselves silly with this gem: