World's Tallest Treehouse

I loved to read as a kid. It's a hazard of growing up with an English teacher mother. Everyone knew I loved to read--still do. I still think books are the best present I can get, short of a vacation in the mountains. My aunt Elly kept me stockpiled with all the Arthur books. This was back when Arthur actually looked like an aardvark, before the TV series.

Arthur then:                                                                And now: 

                          

Not too easy to tell what animal he is now.

But now my kids love the books and the TV show. And the TV show is getting a lot of impressive guest stars, from musicians Joshua Redman and Yo-Yo Ma, to author Neil Gaiman. The other day my kids were watching an episode with architect Frank Gehry helping the kids design the perfect treehouse. In the Arthur universe, Arthur's treehouse is a sanctuary where the kids could escape from parents, school, and pesky little sisters. They met there for sleepovers and Bionic Bunny fanclub meetings. But then the treehouse was destroyed. Everyone wanted their own special features in the new design and ended up fighting over it, so they eventually decided to stick with their simple one-room treehouse because it could be all things at the same time: a lab, art studio, and a wrestling ring.

 (Frank Gehry animated as an ambiguous animal.)

My own once-upon-a-time treehouse wasn't even built in a tree. It was built on 4x4 stilts 8 feet in the air, and was fully supported and up to code. Maybe. I had envisioned putting a zipline from that treehouse to the backdoor of the real house, but my parents wouldn't go for me slamming into a sliding glass door.

But then this popped up online in a few blogs: the world's tallest treehouse in Tennesee, called the Minister House. It's close to 100 feet tall and is supported by 6 oak trees. Here are a few pictures floating around out there (Eat your hearts out, Arthur and Buster!!):

I would be the coolest dad ever...

A bit of info and more links and pictures can be found here.

Time for a stupid post: Knock-knock Jokes

Knock-knock jokes have been around since about 400 BC when ancient Chinese scholars discovered puns. If something was misheard or misunderstood, it was said to be "pun ne."

Groan.

Here is the first knock-knock joke I taught Madison:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aww, baby, don't cry.

Here's the first knock-knock joke I taught Jack:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
BWAAAAAK!!!

Charlotte figured the system out all by herself:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dat wee.
Dat wee who?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dat wee.
Dat wee who?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dat wee.
Dat wee who?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dat wee.
Dat wee who?

It continues on like this indefinitely. Just the repetition is hilarious.

The format is simple: make a pun. Once done mostly with names, now somebody appears at the door named Smell Mop. (Go ahead, say "Smell Mop who?")

This blog has been short on comments lately. So, in the comments section, tell me your favorite knock-knock joke.

Now That's a Knife

I carry with me a small pocket knife that my father-in-law gave me for Christmas a few years ago. It has since received some stains and lost a part, but it still sits in my pocket.

Have I mentioned that I teach? That's right, I carry a knife to school. Don't worry, it's a technical college. More on that.

Most of our kids will never carry a knife to school. If your kids are in the school system now, they may not even get plasticware at lunch. The thinking is that anything that can be a weapon is treated as a weapon. This includes tools that are used in shop class...if there even is shop class anymore.

A knife for a guy is a tool. I've used mine to cut brownies, open paint can lids, tighten and loosen screws, untie knots, get stuck CD's out of CD players, and act as a conductor for an electrical current. That one was fun.

I'm all for boys having knives to use as tools, so it's up to a responsible adult (i.e., me) to teach about safety, uses, and what not to do. A lawyer friend of mine bought his girls pink BB guns to help teach them about safety. Avoiding guns and knives completely will only teach fear; understanding them will make useful, knowledgeable adults.

In one class, a student saw my knife clipped to my pocket. He had never seen a teacher carry a knife before. I pulled it out and showed them that yes, it was in fact a knife.

This student smiled and pulled his knife out of his backpack. I heard Paul Hogan's voice in my head:



But then I realized that he had just come from an automotive repair class with all kinds of tools that commanded the torque of me hanging from a ten-foot pole. This knife was probably the least dangerous thing he touched all day.

And given the damage Jack can do with a 2-foot bamboo stick he picked up at the zoo, it will be a while before he's ready.

Flinch

Somebody throws something you weren't expecting at you--you flinch.

You touch a hot stove--you flinch.

A four-year-old in a Buzz Lightyear costume with a ninja sword, pirate hat, Superman cape, and bat wings jumps around the corner and yells at the top of his lungs--you flinch.

Then, a few thoughts run through your head:

1. Why does he need a cape AND wings?
2. Why doesn't my voice carry like that?
3. This would make an awesome episode of Deadliest Warrior.
4. Man, I wish I had a picture of this.

Then there's the flinch that you make when the same four-year-old rides his bike into the street with a car coming. No recoil here, just deliberate and instant forward action.

Kids rarely flinch. In fact, we punish each other for flinching. We had a game where one boy would walk up next to another boy and act like he was going to punch him. If the boy flinched away from the oncoming hand, there was a free punch to the flincher. But if the boy stayed where he was and didn't even blink, watching the fist stop short of his nose, then he got a free punch on the other boy.

Call it 3rd grade jousting.

Julien Smith writes this about the lack of flinch reflex in kids:

Kids naturally begin this way. It's why their world is always growing. They find hurdles, jump them, and get stronger. When they see they made it, they move on to bigger hurdles. If they fall down, they try again later. It's a basic cycle.

Today, don't flinch.

Here's another option:

Video Monday

My parents first got a CD player back when they were the size of a record player--which is what it was hooked up to, my dad's record player from college. We were met with strict instructions not to touch the new black box. Of course, we did.

There were three CDs that I remember going on for a while, Lionel Richie's Dancing on the Ceiling, which was just hilarious to gradeschool boys, Paul Simon's Graceland, that I was too young to understand, and the soundtrack to Stand By Me. I hadn't seen the movie, but it was my first introduction to Jerry Lee Lewis's "Great Balls of Fire," which is still one of my favorite songs.

Here are the boys pondering one of life's greatest questions: